Profession: mother of a special child.
The mother of a special child will never remain an ordinary mother, she will be a "special mother". And Dad will be "special Dad," and brothers or sisters will be "special." And so it will always be. It is a kind of seal, a birthmark that appears and remains with you for life with the birth of a special child. The only difference is that this imprint is not on the skin, but in the head: thoughts, feelings.
How many years does it take to bring up a certain approach and build order in the family? The answer: "All my life!" Many families are falling apart, destinies are changing. There are many nuances in the upbringing of a special child in his environment, as well as in matters of family relations. And their mother decides.
Who is this "special mother", and how does she exist in her special world?
From my personal experience, I would like to share important conclusions or considerations that are stored as laws or rules in my head, with which I live and work every day.
Mom must understand EVERYTHING. Special kids do not know how to cope with their weaknesses, limitations. It’s hard for them to say, "I’m afraid," "I’m sick," "I don’t like it," "I want to," or "I’m offended." This can be understood only by behavior, by various signals that can be noticed only by a loved one. It is necessary to watch such a baby very closely and attentively and learn to understand him not even from a half-word, but from a half-movement.
Mom is a translator.Having understood for herself, the mother should explain various situations and reveal the peculiarities of the child’s behavior to other relatives - dad, brother, sister, grandparents. This makes it easier to avoid irritation and quarrels over the baby’s inexplicable actions.
Mom is a shock absorber. All the stress and irritation that the baby will experience, in the end, will have to take on the mother. She has to smooth over and accept all the tears, cries and emotional outbursts of a special baby. She has to endure moments of resentment and nervous explosion, when she really wants to just give the belt, because words and exhortations are useless because no one hears them.
Mom’s daily work on herself.Expression: "Hold yourself in your hands!" - this is not just a phrase for inhaling and exhaling, but a real anthem that is constantly playing in the brain, which at the right time should control your brain unconditionally! If you can’t hold yourself in your hands, you’ll regret it later. You need to work on yourself constantly, watch what you say, what you feel. Special children are hypersensitive to negativity. You are in a bad mood in the morning, so the baby will already be behaving badly. Working on yourself is probably the hardest thing imaginable, but the most effective tool in this life.
Mom is the center of the family universe.When a person has come to terms with the fact that his role as a parent is much more than the usual framework of conventional concepts, it does not become easier for him. He begins to think, think and "think" every day about how to solve various "special" problems, difficulties and issues.
It also happens that a special child somehow becomes imperceptibly the CENTER of family life, and all other family members begin to depend on his mood, behavior, his unstable condition. No, it should not be so!
We must realize that we must live a normal life, albeit a slightly complicated one. It is time to stop twisting and revolving your universe around difficulties and obstacles, you need to live your life full of interesting and useful deeds or work, filling it with meaning for the common development of all family members, and skillful movement, way to adapt, integrate special life into normal.
Mom and her meanings of life.The main thing is to find meaning in your life that will help you stay afloat and keep your sanity. This meaning will push the parent to move forward without getting bogged down in daily difficulties. Something that will help to distract and dissipate from the various worries and problems that endlessly come and go, well, or that come and go;). Everyone should know, and the mother of a special child, that the meaning of life brings awareness of their inner fullness, which brings peace and self-confidence.
Raising siblings of a special child.Parents raising several children are always faced with the question: "How to build a healthy sibling attitude to a special baby?" I can say that with the right approach, children quickly and somehow themselves, of course, begin to understand what a special baby and how to be friends with him. By explaining and talking about special behavior, you can warn and raise a tolerant person who can intuitively recognize, explain and support their special brother / sister.
Parents need to maintain a balance between justice and exceptions if you understand what I am talking about. All children must be equal and must know this not only in words but also in deeds. Our task is to raise healthy, happy siblings who, knowing all the weaknesses of a special child in the family, will love, understand and protect him as we parents do.
Rest of the "special" mother.When the "special mom" mode doesn’t work, chaos begins. Therefore, she needs to rest, she needs time to regain strength, she needs peace for balance. Special mothers need more rest and free time in the company of ordinary people, friends, she needs to go out into the light and breathe a healthy atmosphere of normal life, part of which then bring with you in a good mood and cheerfulness.
I firmly believe that the good that a parent sows in his child will increase many times over. It will be passed on through him to his children and grandchildren.
I believe that to accept such a test - to sensitively understand the needs of others, to solve their difficulties and problems, to care about his future and rejoice in his victories - is happiness, it is the real knowledge of life. As long as she has the strength and ability, as long as the "special mother" can breathe and her heart beats, she will fight for her child.
I do not want to call for special mothers to feel sorry for, no, they just need to be understood and supported - positive, communication, normal life. It is impossible to make others understand special children the way mom does, or to seek truth and justice by leaving home and facing reality. I often avoid conflicts and do not achieve my goal at any cost. After all, all I want is to raise a person who will have an idea of what life is and will be able to find himself in it. He may not be like most people, but he can be happy!
Go forward with your head held high, you will succeed, even if it takes more than a decade.
Author Mama Dama
How many years does it take to bring up a certain approach and build order in the family? The answer: "All my life!" Many families are falling apart, destinies are changing. There are many nuances in the upbringing of a special child in his environment, as well as in matters of family relations. And their mother decides.
Who is this "special mother", and how does she exist in her special world?
From my personal experience, I would like to share important conclusions or considerations that are stored as laws or rules in my head, with which I live and work every day.
Mom must understand EVERYTHING. Special kids do not know how to cope with their weaknesses, limitations. It’s hard for them to say, "I’m afraid," "I’m sick," "I don’t like it," "I want to," or "I’m offended." This can be understood only by behavior, by various signals that can be noticed only by a loved one. It is necessary to watch such a baby very closely and attentively and learn to understand him not even from a half-word, but from a half-movement.
Mom is a translator.Having understood for herself, the mother should explain various situations and reveal the peculiarities of the child’s behavior to other relatives - dad, brother, sister, grandparents. This makes it easier to avoid irritation and quarrels over the baby’s inexplicable actions.
Mom is a shock absorber. All the stress and irritation that the baby will experience, in the end, will have to take on the mother. She has to smooth over and accept all the tears, cries and emotional outbursts of a special baby. She has to endure moments of resentment and nervous explosion, when she really wants to just give the belt, because words and exhortations are useless because no one hears them.
Mom’s daily work on herself.Expression: "Hold yourself in your hands!" - this is not just a phrase for inhaling and exhaling, but a real anthem that is constantly playing in the brain, which at the right time should control your brain unconditionally! If you can’t hold yourself in your hands, you’ll regret it later. You need to work on yourself constantly, watch what you say, what you feel. Special children are hypersensitive to negativity. You are in a bad mood in the morning, so the baby will already be behaving badly. Working on yourself is probably the hardest thing imaginable, but the most effective tool in this life.
Mom is the center of the family universe.When a person has come to terms with the fact that his role as a parent is much more than the usual framework of conventional concepts, it does not become easier for him. He begins to think, think and "think" every day about how to solve various "special" problems, difficulties and issues.
It also happens that a special child somehow becomes imperceptibly the CENTER of family life, and all other family members begin to depend on his mood, behavior, his unstable condition. No, it should not be so!
We must realize that we must live a normal life, albeit a slightly complicated one. It is time to stop twisting and revolving your universe around difficulties and obstacles, you need to live your life full of interesting and useful deeds or work, filling it with meaning for the common development of all family members, and skillful movement, way to adapt, integrate special life into normal.
Mom and her meanings of life.The main thing is to find meaning in your life that will help you stay afloat and keep your sanity. This meaning will push the parent to move forward without getting bogged down in daily difficulties. Something that will help to distract and dissipate from the various worries and problems that endlessly come and go, well, or that come and go;). Everyone should know, and the mother of a special child, that the meaning of life brings awareness of their inner fullness, which brings peace and self-confidence.
Raising siblings of a special child.Parents raising several children are always faced with the question: "How to build a healthy sibling attitude to a special baby?" I can say that with the right approach, children quickly and somehow themselves, of course, begin to understand what a special baby and how to be friends with him. By explaining and talking about special behavior, you can warn and raise a tolerant person who can intuitively recognize, explain and support their special brother / sister.
Parents need to maintain a balance between justice and exceptions if you understand what I am talking about. All children must be equal and must know this not only in words but also in deeds. Our task is to raise healthy, happy siblings who, knowing all the weaknesses of a special child in the family, will love, understand and protect him as we parents do.
Rest of the "special" mother.When the "special mom" mode doesn’t work, chaos begins. Therefore, she needs to rest, she needs time to regain strength, she needs peace for balance. Special mothers need more rest and free time in the company of ordinary people, friends, she needs to go out into the light and breathe a healthy atmosphere of normal life, part of which then bring with you in a good mood and cheerfulness.
I firmly believe that the good that a parent sows in his child will increase many times over. It will be passed on through him to his children and grandchildren.
I believe that to accept such a test - to sensitively understand the needs of others, to solve their difficulties and problems, to care about his future and rejoice in his victories - is happiness, it is the real knowledge of life. As long as she has the strength and ability, as long as the "special mother" can breathe and her heart beats, she will fight for her child.
I do not want to call for special mothers to feel sorry for, no, they just need to be understood and supported - positive, communication, normal life. It is impossible to make others understand special children the way mom does, or to seek truth and justice by leaving home and facing reality. I often avoid conflicts and do not achieve my goal at any cost. After all, all I want is to raise a person who will have an idea of what life is and will be able to find himself in it. He may not be like most people, but he can be happy!
Go forward with your head held high, you will succeed, even if it takes more than a decade.
Author Mama Dama